EGPAF
After filling out 28 job applications with 19 different organizations and being given 6 interviews and 2 offers, I have news of what I have chosen to do next in Malawi. While I wasn't always certain what path I wanted to take next, it became increasingly clear over the past month.
I've lived in the village in Malawi for over 2 years now and I've seen a lot that can break your heart. But the events of the past month broke me. Over a year ago I met a man who became one of my closest counterparts. We planned a training together, managed a grant, started a health center vegetable garden, re-energized the HIV Support Group, and he became an expert client at the health center even being offered a chance to attend a USAID training. All these accomplishments and we can hardly communicate because he doesn't speak any English and I only minimal Chiyao! It was always interesting!
In February 2014 him and his wife had a baby girl. And to my greatest honor (and quite a bit of surprise) they named their little girl after my American and Malawian name: Atupele Deanna. She was adorable. When a baby is named after you in Chiyao culture you become a sort of god-parent watching over the child until they reach initiation age. One of my responsibilities was to give little Atupele Deanna her first haircut. She cried the whole time.
Several months after delivery she was unfortunately diagnosed HIV positive confirmed- a fear we had since she was an exposed infant who had a home delivery. It's not always the case that babies born to positive mothers contract the virus. In fact, there's a good chance for a child to be HIV negative if the mother starts antiretroviral drugs during pregnancy, takes them consistently, and has a safe delivery at a health center/hospital.
For about the past 4 months the baby started having severe, persistent diarrhea (a common problem for those suffering from AIDS). Her parents were bringing her to the health center but when you live at least 10+km from the health center and have limited resources and money, it can be daunting. And so many times in Malawi illnesses are assumed as non-serious and routine so it can be hard to convince people to further action such as going to a district hospital.
On Wednesday, March 4, just a couple weeks after her first birthday, I found out from a health center worker that the baby had passed away. Passed away over the weekend when I was on vacation. While we as Peace Corps Volunteers like to think of ourselves as rejecting the "white savior complex" and operating under different motives, the truth is that in that moment I heard she had died, all I wanted to do was to turn back the clock and save her. I hadn't encouraged her parents enough to seek stronger treatment, I didn't chat with them enough about the virus, I hadn't visited them enough, I hadn't understood enough (if only I spoke more Chiyao). She was my god-daughter. They trusted me and I let her down; sitting on a beach at the lake while she died. And I'll never forgive myself for that. It's not our "job" to save people here or that's what we say but I wish I could make things better for those around me in a way that is not harmful to their own development and dignity. All I could do for that night and the entire next day was turn off all my phones, the computer, and sit in my house crying, wondering why. As a good friend said to me through tears, "if this is what God has allowed to happen, we cannot do otherwise." While I don't know if I exactly believe the theology of that statement, what I've found is that those Malawians in my community find enormous strength sometimes in faith and they push forward bravely through unbearable circumstances. As I went to visit and comfort the family the following days, I saw this strength and love pouring through them even after grief.
So starting in April I will be leaving my village where I lived the past 2 years and moving to the capital city of Malawi (Lilongwe) to work with Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation (EGPAF) as an Evidence to Programs Officer in a joint partnership with Peace Corps Response. EGPAF works in Malawi and around the world in hopes to one day eliminate pediatric AIDS all together so that no more babies have to die. They work to increase access for mothers to HIV testing and antiretroviral drugs if needed using different measures such as working with community groups, scaling up health center data analysis and management, and training health center staff. I will be helping them in these endeavors for the next year in their headquarters in Lilongwe and at rural health centers where they implement programs. I am hoping to use my HIV Care Clinic knowledge, community mobilization, and data analysis skills gained at my health center to help build more capacity at EGPAF and in return I know they will teach me so much more about global health and development.
The next year of my life is for all the babies who die silently; the babies who don't have a choice if they are born with a virus; the parents who don't always have the resources to understand the disease. May something I do help them. And while this post may be helping reaffirm any stereotypes one has of suffering children in Africa, know that I am here because I believe in hope and I believe in the beauty and strength I see here in Malawi every day. As my boyfriend always tells me, "We are Malawians. And Malawians don't give up." I believe in the progress that comes from cooperation and in the changes that happen when we take time to understand "the other." I love the relationships I have formed here and I'm excited to keep alive my partnerships and friendships.
If you want to see more what EGPAF is doing in Malawi and the projects I will be helping with, go here:
Dedicated to Atupele Deanna. I will carry you always in my heart.
Comments
Post a Comment