Redeemed

“For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things.” 1 Colossians 20

“Behold, I am making all things new.” Revelation 21:5

The past 2 months have been quite tumultuous for Mpha and I here in Malawi. Coming back from a wonderful holiday in the USA we were faced with the reality of our life here. Not every day is an Instagram post and our life most days is very down to earth. In two months we’ve faced theft and burglary (thankfully neither in our own home), harassment, job and transfer challenges which means we still live apart, sicknesses, car challenges and the everyday edge of living in a country where hot season/summer brings blackouts leading to broken ATMs where money cannot be accessed for days. Not to mention hospitals, supermarkets, neighbors with zero access to electricity for hours and days. Along with our own selfish struggles has come constant news of death. . . everywhere, all around us.  

The past month, the compounding challenges have really been wearing on me. I’ve been thinking it’s just maybe a 4.9 years in Malawi slump. . . or having a job that I love but that is also stressful, many times thankless, behind the scenes late nights to keeping a multi-million dollar HIV prevention project running. Adding on to that the feeling that the Malawi around us is constantly falling apart. Road accidents. Violence. Corruption. Blackouts. Lack of professionalism. Crime. Sickness. Is our work actually making any difference? I’ve been thinking a lot about escaping. . . and then I think of all the people around me who don’t have that privilege to leave.

Throughout the Bible God reminds us again and again that the arc of the story, that the plot line being told from start to finish is redemption. A broken world that God is trying to make new. A broken people that God is reaching out to. What I’ve realized when reflecting on Malawi’s brokenness is that it also reminds me of the brokenness within me. Of all the pain, anger and selfishness I also harbor inside. The selfishness in me that rages and lashes out when everything here seems to go wrong. When a 5 minute task takes 2 hours. My self-righteousness wants to scream out- to feel like I have all the answers and the right ways to do things. And yet I’m reminded the outward world is just a reflection of the inward brokenness within us all and none of us have it all figured out.

This has been very obvious in the 2 weeks of headache we’ve faced with our car here- back and forth to the mechanic. A car full of brokenness and old parts. And I’ve realized that all we want for this car is to redeem her. To bring her back to life out of the dust. And this is just what God does for us.  In a world full of brokenness and death we crave redemption and for things to be made right how we know they should be.

When I think I cannot take more hardship, the news of anymore death, to witness anymore poverty or to watch my husband leave one more time to go to a job far away, I just recite “all things, all things, all things.” All things will be made new through Christ, will be made right. And while I’m here on earth, in some way I want to contribute to that work of Christ in making the world new. Not every day feels like I’m part of that story and many days in my anger over things not going right, I miss the chance to be a part. But tomorrow I’ll try again to create a more just and redeemed world. It is only in recognizing my own brokenness and hurt that I can allow the Lord to heal me and make me new so that I can contribute to the redemption story. It’s not easy- many days I question myself, question God, question the purpose behind it all. But I know I’m not the first or the last to have doubts and my challenges do not compare the plight of so many others around me whose life I certainly could not endure. To say I’m privileged is an overstatement. Instead of letting my own melancholy take over, I pray for the restoring of my own soul and the strength to keep fighting for those who cannot. 

“Restoring, reconciling, renewing- they’re consistent and persistent in their claims that what God is up to in the world involves putting everything back together as it should be.

Your broken heart?

All things.

Poverty?

All things.

Abuse?

All things.

Racism?

All things.

Fractured relationships?

All things.

All things. All things. All things. All things.” Rob Bell