The Haunting

Back in 2013 when I was still fresh to living in Malawi, I sat one night on a gorgeous beach in the lake region of Mangochi. As we were watching the sun set from the luxury of a lodge, one expat who had been in Malawi for some time started speaking of her desire to leave Malawi because she was just tired of death. Everyone went quiet as we were not quite sure what to say. 

Living in one of the most economically poor countries means there's going to be poverty, depression, sickness, and death. And I knew there was death here every time I rode my bike through the village and found branches of trees crisscrossed on the road symbolizing a funeral taking place nearby. But in your mind you always assumed it was someone older, someone's whose lived a full life. 

After over 3 years, with more years yet to come, I now comfortably can say I live here. And with that realization also comes three years of my own experiences with death. And the temptation I face is to count my time here not always with the list of what I've gained but with a list of all who I've lost. I've written about this before on my blog but it continues to haunt me. Death is not some distant concept to me now but a real, close, and active force. It has taken my friends. My boyfriend's family members. My boyfriend's friends. Countless babies. My god daughter. The list in my head now goes on and on being added to almost monthly it seems and I'm powerless to make it stop. But I wish it would stop. Young mothers. Babies. Young children. All people taken much too soon and much too often.

But at the end of the day, I don't believe we are powerless against this force of death and disease. While I don't believe in looking for a fountain of youth where we can all live forever, I do believe we should all get the chance to live fully the life we. I believe things can and should be done. And I believe it's our job to make that better world a reality. With care, humility, grace and kindness and we progress forward. Malawians and neighbors and humanity alike to fight back against that shadow called death that has taken something from us all. 

While there are many people with many religious convictions fighting poverty all over the world, as a follower of Jesus the Christ, I and the entire body of Christ have an added commission to not abandon those who are in need and even more so to bear with those in need. It's more than a thought or a conviction or guilt. We are to actually sacrifice in order serve.