Greatest Advice to Myself
Filing. It's what our brains do with information. They quickly analyze and file information away into the proper places. In our modern society where we are provided copious amounts of stimuli every single day, our brains have to quickly file and sometimes generalize in order to understand everything the eyes see, ears hear, and hands feel. And when studying psychology in undergrad I started to understand more how the brain works and just how quickly it can process so much without us even realizing it. Books such as Blink also talk in depth about this process happening in the brain. As humans, the world is a complex place we try so very much to understand. Due to this complex nature we develop coping mechanisms which sometimes have negative consequences- prejudice and stereotypes and "box like" thinking. We get so use to putting everything into a category with defined rules and behaviors as our mind expects.
So how does this process relate to me here in Malawi in development work? Well, very much actually. It's starts broadly. You catch yourself saying, "Africans..." or "Africans are..." and then with some time in Malawi it changes to "Malawians..." and "Malawians are..." Then to "Malawian men...", "Village people..." and on and on. And even in the reverse as both expats and Malawians have their own version of "Americans are..."
The challenge comes from the anomaly. The one that just doesn't fit into our filing cabinets our brain has created. And every society, religious group, culture, or organization has one if not many more. And this creates an issue with the preconceived notion we have in our heads. No group is ever so homogeneous as we would like to imagine.
I bring this up because as a sometimes jaded or frustrated worker, I have a slip of the tongue (or of the heart) that causes me to say something such as, "All Malawians just want _____." And you can apply this to any group: Muslims, Christians, Blacks, Whites, Africans, Americans, Conservatives, Liberals, Hippies, Hookers, whosoever. These titles help us make sense of our huge world. But they don't tell the whole story. And when I generalize all Malawians as being some way it dishonors them and every single anomaly that exists in this place. And there are so many anomalies. My guess is we don't always give them the attention they deserve though because they are so outnumbered in our minds by everything else we have seen. But when we start to search them out, actively look for them, and appreciate them when found, maybe they start becoming a little more common. As Peace Corps Volunteers, we really don't like being told by Malawians what ourselves (Americans) are like. We don't like labels- we pride ourselves on being individuals each with our own beliefs and experiences (and bank accounts). So why do we then apply these labels to Malawians?
My boyfriend is ever increasingly the one who catches my slips. As a Malawian himself, he absorbs every single one of my "Malawians..." statements and turns them right back on their head with his own evidence, experiences, and knowledge. He doesn't let me get away with generalizing people. And it makes sense as he's been the victim of numerous "Malawian men..." statements that many times are generalizing toward the negative. And I'll tell you, if you believe me or not, he is himself an anomaly.
While it is true that people of a certain time and a certain place tend to be and think and behave more alike to fit in and find a common identity and belonging, it still doesn't mean we're all the same. So my challenge to myself and everyone else out there is to rethink those filing cabinets in your brain. Open more space for the anomalies. In Malawi this could look like a lot of different things. Such as one of my best Malawian friends who I've nick-named "Shades" who has never once asked me for a single thing since I've been in this country but instead showers me with kindness, blessing, and even Fantas and a plate of french fries ("chips") every time I see him. Or my boyfriend who is pursuing his dream of education and a career and is still unmarried with no children at almost 27 years old with the conviction to love, respect, and care for his younger 5 siblings and grandparents. Or my Malawian "grandparents" as I call them who live on a tea estate who even at past 70 years old are still so very much in love and affectionate with one another. Or my student who works so very hard in class who went for HIV testing and counseling and came back and reported to me his desire to be abstinent until after he finishes his education and gets married. So no, I cannot say "All Malawians just want ABCD...." or "All Malawian men just want to be married and have babies." As I was reminded again in a CDC Publishing workshop, the word "all" is dangerous and to be rarely used because it so often is simply not true. If there's even one outlier, we cannot say "all."
So while some generalizations are not so harmful, such as saying Malawi is the "warm heart of Africa" because everyone is so kind and welcoming, it's the negative generalizations that we must catch ourselves on (and for some reason negatives seem to be more popular in human nature; just look at the news). It doesn't mean we don't admit to the challenges or the hurdles we climb through to get to our idea of "developed" or remain naïve about the negative parts of Malawi or any other group. But we have the ability to see past all the confounding negatives to see the glimmers of hope and change and positivity and may we let our hearts rest there and our minds evermore look for the positive anomalies and promote them wherever they are found.
So how does this process relate to me here in Malawi in development work? Well, very much actually. It's starts broadly. You catch yourself saying, "Africans..." or "Africans are..." and then with some time in Malawi it changes to "Malawians..." and "Malawians are..." Then to "Malawian men...", "Village people..." and on and on. And even in the reverse as both expats and Malawians have their own version of "Americans are..."
The challenge comes from the anomaly. The one that just doesn't fit into our filing cabinets our brain has created. And every society, religious group, culture, or organization has one if not many more. And this creates an issue with the preconceived notion we have in our heads. No group is ever so homogeneous as we would like to imagine.
I bring this up because as a sometimes jaded or frustrated worker, I have a slip of the tongue (or of the heart) that causes me to say something such as, "All Malawians just want _____." And you can apply this to any group: Muslims, Christians, Blacks, Whites, Africans, Americans, Conservatives, Liberals, Hippies, Hookers, whosoever. These titles help us make sense of our huge world. But they don't tell the whole story. And when I generalize all Malawians as being some way it dishonors them and every single anomaly that exists in this place. And there are so many anomalies. My guess is we don't always give them the attention they deserve though because they are so outnumbered in our minds by everything else we have seen. But when we start to search them out, actively look for them, and appreciate them when found, maybe they start becoming a little more common. As Peace Corps Volunteers, we really don't like being told by Malawians what ourselves (Americans) are like. We don't like labels- we pride ourselves on being individuals each with our own beliefs and experiences (and bank accounts). So why do we then apply these labels to Malawians?
My boyfriend is ever increasingly the one who catches my slips. As a Malawian himself, he absorbs every single one of my "Malawians..." statements and turns them right back on their head with his own evidence, experiences, and knowledge. He doesn't let me get away with generalizing people. And it makes sense as he's been the victim of numerous "Malawian men..." statements that many times are generalizing toward the negative. And I'll tell you, if you believe me or not, he is himself an anomaly.
While it is true that people of a certain time and a certain place tend to be and think and behave more alike to fit in and find a common identity and belonging, it still doesn't mean we're all the same. So my challenge to myself and everyone else out there is to rethink those filing cabinets in your brain. Open more space for the anomalies. In Malawi this could look like a lot of different things. Such as one of my best Malawian friends who I've nick-named "Shades" who has never once asked me for a single thing since I've been in this country but instead showers me with kindness, blessing, and even Fantas and a plate of french fries ("chips") every time I see him. Or my boyfriend who is pursuing his dream of education and a career and is still unmarried with no children at almost 27 years old with the conviction to love, respect, and care for his younger 5 siblings and grandparents. Or my Malawian "grandparents" as I call them who live on a tea estate who even at past 70 years old are still so very much in love and affectionate with one another. Or my student who works so very hard in class who went for HIV testing and counseling and came back and reported to me his desire to be abstinent until after he finishes his education and gets married. So no, I cannot say "All Malawians just want ABCD...." or "All Malawian men just want to be married and have babies." As I was reminded again in a CDC Publishing workshop, the word "all" is dangerous and to be rarely used because it so often is simply not true. If there's even one outlier, we cannot say "all."
So while some generalizations are not so harmful, such as saying Malawi is the "warm heart of Africa" because everyone is so kind and welcoming, it's the negative generalizations that we must catch ourselves on (and for some reason negatives seem to be more popular in human nature; just look at the news). It doesn't mean we don't admit to the challenges or the hurdles we climb through to get to our idea of "developed" or remain naïve about the negative parts of Malawi or any other group. But we have the ability to see past all the confounding negatives to see the glimmers of hope and change and positivity and may we let our hearts rest there and our minds evermore look for the positive anomalies and promote them wherever they are found.
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